How are we doing this in District 65?

We strengthen our school communities by working to develop school environments that reflect the following: 

• Relationships and trust are at the center of all healthy school communities. The stronger our relationships, the stronger our learning and the safer our schools will become.  
• All members of the school community are responsible for one another. 
• Multiple perspectives are always welcomed.
• All youth need a chance to learn from their mistakes and put them right. Conflict resolution is an important social skill they will need throughout their lives.
• Conflict is best resolved through honest dialogue and community problem-solving that addresses the root causes and needs of all those involved.
• Wrongdoers should be held accountable and also supported to take an active role in repairing the harm caused. This collaborative process is essential to maintaining a healthy school community. 

What does this look like?

• We build positive relationships between students, school personnel, and families to promote quality learning and strong school communities.
• We respond to harm in ways that strengthen those relationships and address the root causes.
• We use disciplinary responses that focus on students’ actions and the harm caused rather than just responding to “rule breaking.”
• We promote school cultures in which students behave because they’re motivated to become valued members of their school communities.
• We provide students with strategies that will empower them in addressing future challenges and succeeding in life as they grow older. 
• Students take responsibility for their actions, repairing the harm, and learning how to make things better in meaningful ways.

Proactive Circles

Building Positive Relationships in the School Community

Proactive Sharing Circles are the first step in building a restorative school community. When used consistently and with intention, they foster trust, mutual understanding and a shared set of values and behavioral norms (common guidelines) that can lead to stronger relationships among members community. Circles also promote development of important social skills, as well as academic and leadership competencies. Staff and students can then draw on these skills to prevent wrongdoing and effectively manage conflicts when they arise. Sharing circles might involve only students, students and school staff, or only school staff.

Sharing Circle Guidelines

• Everyone sits in a circle with all included.
• We use and respect the talking piece (an item that is passed around the sharing the circle, identifying the speaker) to ensure every voice is heard and only one person speaks at a time.
• We use "I statements" to share peacefully without naming or blaming others."I am upset about..."
  • "I want to talk about..."
  • "I am really proud about..."
  • We speak and listen from the heart with patience and care.
• What's said in circle, stays in circle—to create safety and trust for everyone. 

Commonly used in sharing circles, these ideas may also be helpful for use at home:

• Create more opportunities to talk and catch up with one another.
• Ask your children about  the sharing circle guidelines/norms. 
• Make your own "talking piece," such as your child's favorite stuffed animal or toy, and pass it around when having a conversation.  
• Ask quick "check-in" questions before or after school or at the beginning and end of the week.
• Here are some ideas:
  • How was your day or week on a scale from 1-10? Why?
  • What is something you are grateful for today?
  • What was hard about today?
  • What is hard for us a family? What's positive about our family? What do we do well? What do we need to work on?
  • What's one thing on your mind today?
  • What's one positive thing that happened to you today?
  • What's one positive thing you've done for someone else today?
  • What's one interesting thing you did or learned today at school or work?
  • Share one word that sums up your feelings right now.
  • Tell us one thing you would like to do differently in the next week?
• Regularly share affirmations (positive comments that you can say about a person).
  • "What I appreciate about you is..."
  • "I like the way you helped..."
  • "Thank you for..."

Everyday Restorative Interactions

Developing social skills to help us better manage tension and conflict when they arise.

Modeling effective social skills in everyday interactions helps develop positive relationships and creates a framework to help keep small conflicts from escalating or accumulating over time. Used consistently by all school members, they can have a significant impact on a school community.

Some of the ideas and questions below, commonly encouraged in everyday restorative interactions at school, may also be helpful for use at home:

• Use “I Statements" to express personal feelings, provide feedback, create boundaries, and develop empathy."I am upset about..." 
  • "I want to talk about..."
  • "I am really proud about..."
  • "I feel so inspired when I see you..."
  • "I feel very frustrated when..."
  • "It's so exciting when you..."
  • "I'm disappointed to hear that..."
  • "When this happened I felt... because..."
• Use "Restorative Questions" to help understand situations, consider the impact of one’s actions, and take responsibility for making things better."What happened?"
  • "What were you thinking/feeling at the time? What have you thought about since?"
  • "Who was affected by what happened? How were they affected?"
  • "What needs to happen to repair the harm done and make things right?"
  • "What can we do moving forward to make sure this doesn't happen again?"
• Use small "Restorative Conversations" among family members to manage tension or conflicts when they arise. These conversations utilize some of the tools described above and can be conducted as impromptu or planned interventions. Such conversations can:Encourage positive interactions.
  • Model a healthy approach to conflict resolution
  • Break patterns of small incidents from escalating

Restorative Conferences

Repairing harm, restoring relationships, encouraging accountability, and providing support

Restorative Conferences use a structured protocol with the Restorative Questions to address serious problems or a cumulative pattern of less serious incidents. Everyone affected by the incident comes together to address the needs of the person harmed, while the person who caused harm is supported to take responsibility for his/her actions and repair what happened. A shared agreement is reached by the end of the conference and monitored for follow through. The conferences focus on building relationships, promoting personal accountability, and repairing harm rather than on punishment and blame. This process also gives voice to the person harmed, allowing them a say in what needs to be done to make the situation better. Formal Restorative Conferences can follow serious incidents. Informal Restorative Conferences can happen on a more impromptu basis.